Throughout yesterday nagging bits of worry tugged at my brain, but with busy-ness going on around me I ignored the catcalls of what was on my mind.
The trouble with that is eventually every day gets quiet.
Last night as I tried to fall asleep, I found myself staring into darkened space, my heart heavy. I was plagued by sadness for the situation that was threatening to overtake and plunge me into concern.
And then I heard it. Inside my head. A simple question that challenged.
"Is this what trusting looks like?"
I paused. The moment was here. Already. I thought I had until at least March 1 before I was going to have to really do this.
I had a choice to make. Was I going to trust, like I said I would when I had nothing pressing that I needed to trust God with, or was I going to lay here and lament my poor estate and hope that lack of sleep would solve everything?
The room was still dark. The air was still silent. The question still loud.
Was this what trusting looked like?
My answer came quicker than I might have liked, because I knew the answer all too well.
No. This isn't what trusting looks like. Not even a little bit.
So I did what I said I would do. I took a moment in the dark and prayed, "Okay God. I trust that You have this, even this..... something that I'd rather
Trust - it sounds easy to do, but it's hard to pry away the gripping fingers that hold onto things we'd rather keep in our care. Trust is a choice, as are most things in life. If I choose it, trust brings freedom instead of weightiness, liberation instead of bondage, release instead of restriction.
Sounds like the right choice to me.