As I sit here to write, I realize how long it's been. And I think of all I've done, been through, and experienced since I was last here. It's not been anything earth shattering or devastating, but I would say it's been a stretching, faith-testing, prayerful time where answers have not come easily and days of waiting have stretched like rubber bands into a time when I feel I might snap; and even then the answers often don't come.
It seems that recently God has been silent on the big ticket tangible items I've been praying about - things like jobs, finances, clogged sewer pipes and car repair bills, to name a few.
Yet I've noticed something about my cries for mercy regarding the intangibles I so often throw His way.
A prayer about a strained relationship.
A plea for a broken heart.
A request to heal my emotions.
An admission of an unthankful spirit which likes to complain more than it likes to count its blessings.
It's with striking certainty that I realize those prayers get answered quicker than I can say "now you're getting it". Heart wounds are bound up, emotions get set right, relationships are restored and thankfulness can abound...all for the asking.
And my eyes are opened and I actually learn something. I learn that God isn't as concerned about what bill I pay, what job I have, or if I have to get a ride to work because the car broke down. Those things are a part of life, and they come with the package deal that says, "You're Human."
He is more concerned, though, about who I am.
And from what I can tell, that ranks higher than what I do.
So you see, I tell myself, God isn't silent. He's there, just as He's always been. He's still working. He's still healing. He's always listening. And this waiting game? It has a purpose. It has a reason. He's using it to build character. He's using it to teach patience.
He's using it to make me more like Him.
And that, I tell myself, is well worth the wait.