Yesterday I read the entry I'd written in my journal exactly one year before. It said,
"The scenery of life is dull at the moment. I'm constantly in a wondering state of "what's next?" I don't want to be there all my life; I want to eventually arrive at where God wants me to be. Just take the next step - that's really all I can do right now, today."
Even though that was penned last year, it startled me to realize I would still write the same thoughts today. I realized that I could end up doing exactly what I wrote that I don't want to do - "being there" on a waiting stage all my life, missing most of it while I'm passing time hoping that God shows up and does something ultra-amazing in my life for all the world to see. I fear that I am spending my days, my time, overlooking what seems to me to be small stuff while I am gearing up for the big stuff I just know is on its way.
Then it hit me. Why do I think God is still holding onto the One Big Thing for me that will come and change my life and unlock my Purpose Door? What if He's already given it to me? What if it's here, all around me, in what I already have? These life gifts that I take for granted every day; healthy children, jobs, cars, home, food, passions, love, joy, community, and the list goes on......What if all the small stuff really IS the big stuff I've been waiting for all this time?
The fact is, all that I have may very well be all I will ever have.
And if that is true, (and I'm going with the assumption that it is) then it's my thinking that needs to change, not God's performance.
Light. Bulb. Moment.
So, I decided to make a choice. It has something to do with contentedness, and a whole lot to do with perspective. I purposed to see the things I've usually counted as small and only marginally significant as the way God intended for me to see them - great gifts I have been blessed with, which indeed they are. It's more than just counting my blessings; it's raising the bar to count the ordinary, the everyday, the taken-for-granted parts of my life as purposeful sendings from God that are nothing short of miraculous.
Because first of all, that's true; and second of all, until I do that, I'm missing out.
I don't have to worry that I'm not doing what He wants me to do; I just need to be concerned that what He's given me to do, I do well.
I'm tired of looking out there for what I already have right here.
To quote an old cliché that I must use because it works so well, I am choosing from this point on to dig in deep and bloom where I'm planted. No more looking to future "if's" and "when's" to get me through the here and now. The here and now is what I have, and it is indeed more than enough. It's what God planned and designed specifically for me.
Which makes it pretty awesome.