moving ahead and forward

After I wrote my "fear of failure" rant (see previous post), I realized that I wasn't trusting God with any of this.  I needed to have faith that whatever happened, He was in control, not me.  So, I jumped in with both feet and took the time I needed to write query letters for my manuscript, network with others online, join SCBWI, etc.  I can't manipulate how it's all going to work out- I just need to be faithful with the parts I can do and trust Him with the rest.   This pursuit of possible publication is something I love to do and I think I can relax about it because I'm not hanging my hat on it; if it happens, it happens.

But part of me slides toward panic.  Why did I wait so long to to discover this love of mine? (as if I could unearth some desire years ago simply by willing it to happen).  What if it's too late? What if I'm too old to start on the road/journey towards publication, recognizing this could take years...although I hardly think 29 is too old.  (Ha. I wish).  But God's timing is perfect.  I cannot concern myself with why I didn't start sooner because I didn't.  The only way to move is forward. 

My devotional commentary for last week said, "There is nothing quite so fulfilling as completing an assignment for God.  You did A, B and C, and you finished it!  You stuck to it until the job was done.  The joy comes, of course, when you are doing His work.  I will lose heart if I consider the work mine."

Amen and amen.

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