Melancholy- that's how I feel today. Wishing things were a little different than they are, but realizing how they are is just fine. Some days it seems as if my soul/emotions/heart come screeching to a halt for a much needed introspective reprieve. There have been ups and downs this week; good news and bad news. My work days are busy and nights are playing catch-up with what I didn't get done during the day. A mile on the treadmill each evening spurs me on, but eventually I need to take a break from that too.
Then life happens.
Yesterday I got in my car to go home for lunch like I do every day. Seemingly simple task. I turned the key in the ignition , threw it into reverse and pressed the gas. And sat there. Hmm, I thought, that's odd. I should be moving backwards in my van by now....so I put it into park, then into reverse again, hit the gas and felt the car trying desperately to rotate its tires counterclockwise but still not budging an inch from its parking spot.
Curiouser and curiouser, I now put the car into D for drive already, and noticing a tree just moments from my car's front bumper I took it easy on the pedal. But not to worry, my car wouldn't go forward either. So I tried the backwards option again. It felt as if my car's tires were trying to lurch over something- like maybe a tree trunk from the Giant Redwoods National Forest. Knowing full well the spot had been clear when I pulled in only hours ago, I still felt compelled to go to the back of the van, get down on my hands and knees and make sure some large object of obstruction hadn't made its way in there whilst I was quietly working in the building. Nope. All I saw was clear sailing under the van from one end to the other.
Long story short, I needed a tow and completely new brake cylinders. My faulty brake cylinders had caused the brake shoes to be stuck in the "on" position - which is why I felt like I was trying to drive with the brakes on. I was. Which is clearly a God thing because if said brake shoes had been stuck in the "off" position, well, we all can imagine the certain destruction that would have brought.
It didn't take me too long to notice the parallels. (I'm a big parallel-looker-for-er). A mere car problem was the spitting image of something our family had gone through earlier in the week. One of our kids in college is being denied entrance into a certain program she needs in order to proceed with the pursuit of her major. On Monday she was told that as of this point, she cannot move forward. And except for the wonders of Hollywood, none of us have ever discovered a way to go back in time and start all over again, with a chance to do things differently. No fault of her own, she is a parked car right now that cannot go anywhere at the moment, and it absolutely breaks my heart.
But we're not panicking. We have faith. God's been there before and He'll be there again to direct her path and tell her exactly where to go from here. We'll be fine. Come to think of it, maybe I'll pick her up for a little shopping. I'm sure with a good tow and some new shoes, she'd be just fine too.