A Little Off Course

After writing my last blog post, I had a most strange emotional experience.   While I initially felt an incredible sense of freedom that I had fairly announced to the myself and the world (lol) that I was going to write simply for writing's sake and that kept me floating for a day, yesterday I experienced a new low- something that was akin to the death of a dream.  There are many things going on in my family's life right now, so emotions are running a bit high and close to the surface as it is, but all of a sudden without the distinct direction of a picture book goal to work towards, I felt a little lost, like my ship had gone off course just a tad and now I'm trying to get it back to where it belongs in order to sail full steam head.  I'll get there; and I believe what I'm feeling is a necessary part of the journey.

Like a lighthouse guiding me around the rough edges of this voyage, this post from http://wannabepublished.blogspot.com/ spoke mightily to me today. I thought it might also reverberate with anyone who writes or simply endeavors to break out into something that they know they have a heartbeat and a passion for.  Words of wisdom - enjoy.
For those of you discouraged about the writing journey, I hope my story helps a little. Or at least gives you an idea of how important tenacity is in the writing journey.

I read in Malcolm Gladwell’s excellent book called Outliers about the irony of genius. Most of those highly proficient in a career or endeavor spent 10,000 hours before they “broke out.” As I thought about my writing career, it all suddenly made sense. I spent the decade of the 90s (plus two more years) writing in obscurity, hour upon hour until I’m sure I surpassed the 10,000 hour mark. After that decade, I attended Mount Hermon with a novel in hand, landed an agent, and sold two books in that first year. Folks often want to hear that part of the story, but it’s hard for them to hear about all the underlying work that went into that dramatic year.

I don’t at all see those 10,000 hours as wasted time. It’s what I needed to apprentice myself to the writing craft. I found my voice. I learned to write fast. I exceeded deadlines. I curried discipline. All those traits serve me well now.

So now I’m in my twentieth year of this journey. I’m not a bestselling author. I’ve achieved some critical success, but I’m not fully making a living at it. I see this last decade as a building one. Recently the Lord showed me something profound while I gardened in my small vegetable patch (readying it for winter). My garden is small, though I long for a larger one someday. The Lord said, “I gave you a small plot so you’d learn to bloom there. If I gave you a field, you’d have been overwhelmed.” True, true, true. Had I been granted instant success, it would’ve been like trying to garden on ten acres when I hadn’t mastered a 3x30 plot. All these ten years have been training ground for me to learn everything belongs to Jesus. Had I become successful out of the gate, I shudder to think of the Me Monster I might’ve become. I’m at that place where I’m keenly aware that everything is a gift. Success. Rejection. Waiting. Accolades. It’s all from His hand. And it’s not about me.

I’ve had an inkling that my next book could be the breakout one. But I’m also grounded enough to know that it could flop around like a dying fish. It’s okay. God, through ten years of 10,000 words and ten years of small plot gardening, has taught me the beauty of His sovereignty in it all.

So if you’re on your journey discouraged that publishing isn’t happening fast enough, that you’re “good enough” to be published but aren’t getting nibbles, stop and wait and consider.

Have you put in your hours?

How’s your small garden plot? Any weeds?

Have you rested in the fact that God has us all on vastly different journeys, and that yours will differ from everyone else’s?

Are you learning contentment, tenacity, patience?

Are you better craftwise than you were last year at this time?

Have you passed on what you've learned to others, being generous in what others have taught you?

Just some thoughts to consider as you journey forward.


  1. great questions to ponder in this journey. True that God gives us what we need, isn't it? I'm not always so patient, and I imagine that is what this new journey is for me-another lesson in patience. The first being my children. :)

    Keep going, friend and definitely tend that garden!

  2. All I know is that I treasure the gift of LOVING to write as much as how well I write or don't. Wonderful entry, Beth. I DO feel that I am making progress, regardless of the many stumbling points that are in my path just now. Actually, I feel that just now, they are most definitely feeding the garden while I am in one of those periods where the energy is minimal for me to do the tending--but then, isn't ALL of it food for our work?

    Take care, please, Beth. Thank you as always.


Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. Much appreciated!