the (fairly) confident woman



Here's a concept I need to explore- Confidence.  I realized in my prayer time this morning that I really don't have much of it..... in many areas. In my looks, my clothes, my hair for starters (these are First World problems and so self-centered I can't believe I'm actually saying them). Confidence that I am enough as is.  Confidence that things for my children, me and my husband will turn out okay and that God is in control and He is working.

I hadn't realized I was lacking confidence, but after thinking about it, a part of me wonders if maybe that's a good thing to lack.

Let me explain.

In my experience, day-to-day confidence can fluctuate greatly for a woman (see First World Problems, above). We females put a lot of stock in our clothes coordinating, our doo turning out right and our makeup looking flawless each day to boost our confidence. Any one of those goes awry and there's trouble brewing.  Layer on top of that our mental assessment of the shape, size and firmness/flabbiness of our bodies at the moment, and...well, you can see how the whole day can become a slippery slope before we even leave the house.  Part Most of me wishes I could be one of those women who go without makeup every day, pulling my hair back into an easy ponytail, looking how I look and still feeling confident.  I am not there yet and most likely if I died tomorrow I would want to be buried with purple eye shadow on and a full sweep of mascara, and don't forget my earrings thank you very much.  Last impressions and all that, you know. 

But if my confidence in who I am is coming from my appearance, I'm in trouble.  Big trouble.  I believe most of us recognize this, but many of us still struggle with it.  I know I do on a daily basis.

And there's more. I need spiritual confidence.  You know - the kind that helps you to believe that God is in control and at work, which as far as I can tell translates seamlessly to the word "faith".  

But still the word "confidence" sounds like pride to me, even when I'm putting it next to the word "spiritual".  An I-don't-need-you-God-I-got-this kind of thing.  I'm wondering what place confidence has in my spiritual walk and journey.

Does confidence blend with or work against faith and trust?  Is it a trifecta of things that go together, or is confidence separate and worldly, neatly elbowing God out of the equation by putting the focus and trust in myself and how I feel on any given day? 

As a Christian, what is my perspective on confidence?  

What is yours?

I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

8 comments:

  1. It blends... faith and trust for me give me confidence.

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    1. Terrific thought- it blends the two items that center on God and it produces the third. Love it.

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  2. (From Steve Coulton) Thanks Beth for your thoughts...For me , it is a combination of faith that God is at work in all things (Rms 8:28) so that builds my confidence in all events in life, but also that He is working them toward His purpose. I realize on the latter, that there may be more to an experience than my small and humble goals and a greater purpose is God's intent. He may be using events to build my faith, influence my outlook or maybe use it to work in someone else's life. If I have hope in anything else, panic is the order of the day. Steve

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    1. Thanks Steve- I like the reminder of there being more to an experience in our lives beyond what we can see. We can have confidence that He is working all things to the good of those who love Him...

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  3. Love! As someone who has walked the road of divorce and shamed into thinking God could not longer use me, I had to find my confidence in Him. Learning to see myself the way He sees me, as His daughter, brought freedom and purpose to my life. Knowing He takes great delight in me and sings over me (Zephaniah 3:17) brought healing to my heart. Thank you for sharing this post!

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    1. Nicole- this is a beautiful response! It is evident through your words that your confidence comes from Him and His love for you. You've walked a difficult road and He has proven Himself faithful. Awesome! Thanks for sharing!

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  4. My confidence always comes from a spiritual place! The more wordly my vision is, the less confident I feel. God wants to tell you what you mean to him, how perfect you are in your own way, and that he created us perfectly different and set apart for his purpose. The world wants to fit us into cookie cutters and tell us if we don't 'look' a certain way, that we aren't good enough. Confidence needs spiritual eyes, to see past what the world focuses on. Thanks for sharing, this has been on my heart a lot lately, as if you couldn't tell :)

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    1. "Confidence needs spiritual eyes..." I love that statement. So true. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and insight into this topic!

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