I had a lot of conversations with my son, a college sophomore, this past weekend, as he is trying to determine what major he should declare. We talked a lot about talent and passion and what part that should play in his decision. That left me with swirling thoughts running circles in my head – all to do with this writing pursuit of mine. I had to ask myself the hard question - is it really a passion of mine, or is it just a means to an end to be known for something?
I tend to define someone’s passion as what they naturally gravitate toward in their free time; what they’d choose to be doing when they could be doing anything. Yes, writing does fit in there for me, but I notice that I often have to talk myself into actually going and doing it.
I remember a time not that long ago when writing a story or a blog post seemed simpler because at the time, there was no weightiness attributed to it. It was just me, writing something that, if it succeeded or failed, didn't much matter. But now it does. Now that it means something to my life's pursuit or is supposed to propel me forward toward fame and fortune, I find myself shying away from it and at times am terrified to even try. This is, of course, ridiculous and I’m sure there is some psychological term for the way my brain is processing this weird way of thinking.
I just haven't had time to look it up.
I read a lot about Ann Voskamp this weekend. She's quite famous and influential, and no one had even heard of her a few years ago. Her book, One Thousand Gifts, was one that I really didn’t like when I read it the first time - I just couldn’t get through it for some reason. The other day when I picked it up at my sister’s house and really read the title, I realized that this book is about exactly what I believe in and would choose to write about given the opportunity- seeking gifts every day that God gives in the ordinary things that are already right around me. It was odd to me, this connection; hers is one of maybe two books in my entire life that I have put down before finishing, and it turns out to be exactly about what I believe in and try to practice every day.
I never knew. Probably because I didn’t read the whole book. And now I wish I had. (I have it on order from the library....)
She started with a gratitude journal, and God used it to change her whole life and give her fodder for a book that has taken off and become a New York Times bestseller many times over. Beginning that journal probably seemed like a small thing to her, and God took it and made it something grand. We never know in a day what we will start or do or say that God will take and run with like a kite in the breeze - letting the string out ever farther so it can fly ever higher.
Let's make every moment count. Let's not miss an opportunity. Let's dare to fly.
Thanks for your thoughts, Beth. I've been wrestling with the same feelings towards my painting and writing, too. But God gives us passions and gifts for His glory... and for others to find encouragement & edification and that's where I find my passion truly lies- in knowing it's all in His service. Praying you have a blessed day!ReplyDelete
Rachel- thanks so much for reading and commenting- I appreciate it. It's definitely a challenge to see where our creative pursuits fit in with His plan at times - but then, I often think I overcomplicate matters and instead I should just relax and enjoy the gifts He's given me - as you said, it's all for His glory. Thanks for your insight. Blessings to you and yours!Delete
Beth, I found your blog through Women Leading Women, and I'm so glad I did. Thanks for this reminder that it's the small things that often amount, piece by piece, to what God has designed for us to do. I'm right there with you, hoping to make every moment count! - Ally S.ReplyDelete
Hi Ally! Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by, read and comment. I appreciate it!Delete
May your moments today be joyful and counted!