It should have been easy. I had a small package to mail to my daughter but I was missing the right kind of paper to wrap around my makeshift box so that it could actually make the trip.
I hunted. I searched. I cleaned out closets. I tried cutting a brown shopping bag down to size but it came out too small. I was getting frustrated. Such a simple thing- mailing a package. Such a frustrating roadblock - not having the proper supplies.
I remembered I had some hot pink wrapping paper stashed away. She loves that color, I said to myself, and got out the roll. Wow, I thought. This will catch some attention in the mail room.
The first wrap around the package looked gorgeous, but the paper was so thin I knew it wouldn't hold up. Thinking maybe a double layer would do the trick, I grabbed the edge to get a larger piece. As I unrolled it, out came the stiff center paper that was the core, the innards, the hot pink's support system.
It was sturdy. It was thick. It was brown.
It was exactly what I needed.
I realized the irony of the situation. Who knew that underneath the bright color that caught my eye was the material I was seeking - what I'd been searching for all along. I had to get to the end to find it, but when I did, I knew it was the answer.
How often do I wrap my life in the pretty stuff, trying to hold it all together, when actually what I am depending on is too thin to adequately enable my package to make its entire journey ? If only I'd strip away all the surfac-y material that just looks nice but actually serves no purpose, I would get to my heart, my core, the me God created, and realize that He was there all along and has always been supporting me.
And that's how I want my life wrapped.
Would anyone notice? I asked myself.
Would anyone care? I wondered.
If I just walked away from my blog and let it die a natural death, would anyone miss it?
I thought about these things one day as I was realizing I hadn't blogged much lately. A tough fall and winter had seemed to take it out of me- getting through each day and being there for those who needed me during that time was enough to fill each set of 24 hours.
Then out of the blue the other day I got an email from a friend who wrote, " Hey Beth, I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy reading your blog. I read all of 2010 the other day. Your writing has really improved. By that I mean that it feels more natural to me. I am a bit of a wanna be writer myself and always enjoy "good" writing. I could really see your growth over the last two years. Good job! Keep it up. I admire your goal setting and the accomplishment that shows. Thanks for sharing your life, struggles and joys. I found I could relate to a lot of what you were saying even though the circumstances were different. Thanks again. Looking forward to reading more."
What a blessing. What a re-charge. I gave her a call to thank her for the shot in the arm she provided and to let her know how much it meant to me. I assured her I would be blogging again; it was about time.
I couldn't help but pick up on her line that said, "I am a bit of a wanna be writer myself." I encouraged her to go for it - to start blogging and see where it would lead. If you'd like to follow her, her blog is here.
It's all about community- supporting one another and having each other's backs.
Speaking of which- it worked for me. It feels good to be back.